Wednesday, 19 August

“I have to do this —
in order to be okay.”

You arrived wanting to know that everything was all right, and that however you showed up would be all right too. An hour later you found that exact sentence living in your legs — and then you felt it let go.

What we found

Integration

The shape of the session

You brace before the moment asks you to

  • The system ramps up force it doesn't need yet
  • Same in standing, in a lifted leg, in bending

The bracing is the same thing you walked in with

  • “I have to anticipate and do a lot in order to be okay”
  • Okayness-oriented, safety-oriented — findable in the legs

The answer is receiving, not relaxing

  • Contact is support: the back, the arms, the feet
  • Unblocked, the support travels up and holds you

Emotion is filed by place in the body

  • Anxiety in the legs, anger in the wrists, fear as it loosened
  • A contraction lower down — the whole system, not just legs

Released rather than gripped is a foundation, not a rest

  • Bouncy, elastic tone — neither collapsed nor held
  • Your word for the whole of it: connectedness

From your session with Olivia 19 August 2026 · private link, please don’t share

Explore the whole session1 h 39 m · 14 sections

Everything that happened, in order. Play from any section, or tap a line to open it.

  • 0:00 – 4:09

    There's some part of me that's a little bit scared

    • Some sort of wanting to know that everything is okay
    • And that however it is that I show up, will be all right
    • Since last time you've been paying more attention to the subtlety
    • After the Iboga journey, much more attuned to alignment and the digestive tract
  • 4:09 – 7:32

    I really wanted to see what the differences would be post-journey

    • Whether there's deeper awareness, more lasting adjustment and integration
    • Looking for ways of launching from there in a gentle, good way
    • I feel closer to my body right now — and in that closeness, explore
  • 7:32 – 11:58

    The body is a foundation for the energetic, the emotional, the soul's purpose

    • We don't work with the emotion directly; we work with the body and it comes
    • A supportive field, a healing field, from the lineages I'm grateful to carry
    • Say what wants to be said — not for me, but for your own liberation
    • You called in your ancestors and your supports; we join that field
  • 11:58 – 20:57

    It's almost like anticipation, more than the actual need against gravity

    • Before that, we already ramp up the force
    • When this part is tensed so much it goes offline for receiving the signal
    • See if you can get up without doing too much here
    • Let your head lead and everything unfolds upward — and don't finish
    • Let your feet feel the ground, as if touching it with your hands
  • 20:57 – 29:59

    Notice the support on the whole backside — that specific sense of being supported

    • When you first lie down there's a tendency to fixate onto the surface
    • Gently turn to one side and back — that gives more room for the back
    • Not just sensation on the backside, but the sense of being supported
    • So you can let go even more onto that whole support
    • Arms, elbows, hands — all contact can be treated as support
  • 29:59 – 36:10

    My hands are highlighting the two ends of this whole muscle group

    • Allow your awareness to register this whole upper leg, hip to knee
    • Let go of unnecessary tension so it integrates into the whole body picture
    • Release the ankle so the foot can be fuller in touch with the ground
    • Unblocked, the support travels to the knee and the muscles needn't work
  • 36:10 – 42:58

    This very small feeling of like, I have to, I have to do this

    • It's when you were moving it — holding very subtle stress around
    • I have to anticipate and do a lot of active doing to be okay
    • It's very okayness oriented, safety oriented
    • It's still in the background, but more obvious during the movement
    • Good to know, to notice. It's not a problem
  • 42:58 – 49:04

    I started feeling it as a contraction — it's more than just the legs

    • My hands are usually more outer, then everything inside starts to reorganize
    • It felt like there needed to be some shaking — shaking off the stress
    • That's a natural nervous system reset, like animals after holding stress
    • I feel less stress in that part of the body
  • 49:04 – 1:00:47

    Release the heel so the foot can contact the ground even more

    • I feel a lot actually in my glutes
    • It's all linked up — this part connects back to the sit bone
    • Tension and then release is a very special point we don't usually feel
    • Regardless of the position, you can attune to that
    • How your foot lands is very different when this part isn't tight
  • 1:00:47 – 1:07:43

    I feel like there's not quite integrated trust or something

    • I was just noticing the inside and the outside
    • This hip bone can be your good friend when you put your hands there
    • A reminder that this whole region doesn't need to hold tight
    • Shift the knee a little — it wakes up the parts holding in stillness
  • 1:07:43 – 1:20:38

    My legs, it was more like anxiety. My wrists was more anger

    • Something related to the heart, the fear, the emotional quality it's holding
    • We're not trying to change anything, just contacting it
    • I was exploring that on my own body — anger sits on the outer side
    • Notice the whole back, hip joints to shoulders, the whole length, all supported
    • The front and the back of the shoulder joining, opening both toward the arm
  • 1:20:38 – 1:25:57

    You're learning a different relationship with the ground

    • My lower legs feel very tight — it feels very uncomfortable
    • Let the knee soften, then feel the support of the feet come up
    • The heel and sides needn't tense, so the foot can feel the ground
    • Release from the sit bone to the back of the knee, so it doesn't collapse
  • 1:25:57 – 1:31:17

    We're releasing it to bend and move, not controlling it to bend

    • That's what I was like — wait a minute. I don't know what happened
    • This is a big achievement. This is like not tensing up here
    • I'm feeling the emotional tone in my legs — there's a lot of fear
    • Now it's childlike elastic quality — healthy muscle tone. Bouncy
    • Not just soft — soft can be disengaged. This is ready to run
    • This is not just relaxing and releasing, this is movement foundation
  • 1:31:17 – 1:39:18

    I was sitting a lot with the word connectedness

    • Your body worked through a lot; it doesn't all need to be put into words
    • And if something clicks, giving it words helps it integrate
    • A greater sense of connectedness to the body and to the tubes of digestion
    • Starting to bring that into the limbs, the muscles
    • And to the emotions — an interconnectedness with the emotion and the musculature

Session audio

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